December 2004 (Part 2)

The Birth of Caleb was the second event that caused me to depend on the Lord. It wasnt' even a concious dependance at times. It was a total, complete relinquishing of any type of control. All I could do was crawl up on God's lap and let Him hold me through the storm....

These words are actual entries from my journal at that time....

"..... I stayed in Denver for a couple weeks after Gil's death. I flew back to our home in Joplin, MO on December 3, 2004. I scurried around Joplin trying to unpack from Denver and re-pack for our trip to Florida. Monty had a job interview at a church there and they were flying the whole family there for a week. On Saturday, I noticed that I was spotting a little bit. I wasn't really concerned, I just chalked it up to being 7 months pregnant etc. On Monday, I was still spotting a little bit and so I called the Doctor. They had me come up to labor and delivery. They did a complete exam and everything appeared normal. Caleb's heartbeat was good and strong. The Doctor attributed the spotting to having a sensitive cervix. I told them that we were flying to Florida the next day. They did not seem concerned, but I did request a copy of my pre-natal records to take with me.

We left Joplin that night and drove to Kansas City. I continued to have some spotting. I woke up early in the morning with a couple of contractions. I just chalked it up to good ole Braxton Hicks. Our flight left at 7:00 am. I kept having contractions. I thought maybe changing positions and drinking water would help. We landed in Atlanta for a layover. My contractions got stronger. We walked around. JD toddled everywhere. I laid down on the uncomfortable chairs in the concourse, I stretched against the wall, I walked...they kept coming. About 6-7 an hour, so about every 10 minutes. We boarded our next plane. The flight to West Palm Beach was only an hour. Monty held JD and eventually he moved with him to the empty seats right in front of me. I couldn't deal with him climbing on me. I kept getting up and going to the bathroom, more bleeding, more contractions. The contractions kept getting harder and faster. I distinctly remember holding onto the arm rests tightly and trying to relax my body. But, I was getting scared, which made it hard to relax. I caught Monty's eye and said.. "This is not good". As the plane began its descent, I told Monty we needed to let the steward know what was up. I hadn't told anyone before, because I didn't want to panic anyone. So, we called the Steward over and asked if we could have a wheelchair for us when we got off the plane. He asked why, we told him I was in labor. You could see the color drain from his face. He got on the intercom and asked that everyone stay seated so we could get off the plane first.

We got off the plane, met the pastor of the church that Monty was candidating at, at baggage claim. At this point, my contractions were about 2 minutes apart. They asked me if I wanted an ambulance, I said YES! At this point, we gave our baggage claim tickets to the pastor, and we handed him JD and the diaper bag. The ambulance arrived. They brought in a stretcher. I don't remember getting on the stretcher. I do remember the paramedic telling me he was going to take off my pants. The pressure got really intense. I was really scared. I kept telling him..."I'm only 31 weeks pregnant, he can't come now, it's to early..,." He assured me he had delivered 4 babies and could handle this. Then the urge to push hit. A contraction came and I couldn't help it. I pushed and "GUSH" the amniotic fluid shot out of me and plastered the entire back end of the ambulance. Including the windows and the helpless paramedic! I was embarrassed and kept apologizing.

We finally got to the hospital. They had Monty go fill out paperwork and they got me into a room. A nurse came in and checked me. She rushed out and came back in with a whole team of people. There was no conversation, I felt strangely like I was on a scene from ER. They told me that Caleb was coming out wrong and they had to do a C-Section. There was chaos everywhere.

They hooked me up to a fetal monitor. The nurse could not find a heartbeat. I was so scared. I kept waiting to hear that rhythmic swooshing...but there was nothing. Another nurse came and started prepping me for surgery. Monty walked in. Still no heartbeat. The nurse assured me it would be OK. They were sticking me with IV's, shaving me (not pleasant) and still scanning for a heartbeat. There was shouting and commotion. Keep in mind that I'm not a swearing person, but inside I'm yelling ..."FIND THE @!#$% heartbeat~! They wheeled me down the hall and into the operating room. They transferred me to a different bed. They asked me to roll into fetal position and hug my knees. They rubbed something cold on my back and then stuck the shot into my spine. My legs and everything went warm and then numb. Monty was wearing a surgical gown and was sitting by my head. They had a tarp up so I couldn't see. Within just a few seconds, they had Caleb out. There was a long pause as they worked on him. Then I heard him cry...never had anything sounded so wonderful. They showed him to me briefly then whisked him off to the NICU. They sewed me up and wheeled me into a small recovery room. Monty and I sat there stunned. We looked at each other and shook our heads as if to say..."What just happened~!?"

They soon wheeled me into the NICU to see Caleb. He was so tiny. He laid in an open crib, hooked up to monitors. His arm was bruised from the shoulder to the tips of his tiny fingers. The doctors were not overly positive about his condition. They weren't negative, just tentative. I was kept in the hospital for a week. Everyday I would go down the the NICU to see little Caleb. The first week they had him hooked up to a ventilator, which breathed for him. I was so scared. Just weeks before, I had seen Gil hooked up to a ventilator with some of the same monitors and tubes coming out of his head. I was almost scared to hope that my little guy would be OK....."

Check out this video of him from the day he was born...

As most of you know, Caleb is fine. He turns 3 tomorrow. He came into the world with a bang, and continues to leave his mark on the world. I know God has great plans for him. I'm so grateful for the 3 years of life we've had with him and Lord willing we will be celebrating many Birthdays to come! I love you little man~!