When I think of you...

It's 8:17 am.  I just got Caleb on the bus and headed to school.  The other two boys are still asleep...and I'm enjoying my first cup of coffee and the quiet that is so rare in this house. 

God has been working on me over the past few weeks.  I had just felt "off", not depressed or sad, just kinda "blah."  I wanted so badly to "feel and see" God in my daily life.  For so many years I felt like we have gone from crisis to crisis.  Be it a move, job loss, premature baby or loss of a loved one, we've faced those head on.  In the midst of  the crisis, I know how to act.  I know how to trust in God...it's my only option.  Living in surrender is easy during a crisis. 

 These past two and a half years I 've lived in the same house, worshipped at the same church, shopped at the same Wal-Mart.  Stability is a wonderful thing.  Yet in the midst of stability, I've found it easy to stagnate.  To get comfortable.  I've found it hard to stay faithful in my time with God.   I have not felt the same closeness to the Lord that I felt during those raw moments of grief or fear.   I know that God has not changed.  His arms still encircle me, his love is the same.  My sense of it is just different for some reason.

However, I've heard God whisper to me over the past few weeks.  His whisper is gentle and has stirred my heart in ways that I've longed for.  I was listening to a Michael W Smiths new worship CD  in the car the other day, and found myself WEEPING out of sheer love for Jesus. 

One song in particular has the African Childrens Choir in it.  The song talks about how much Jesus really does love us.  These kids are singing words like..." When I think of you I see you dancing...when I think of you I see you smiling at me...When I think of you  I see you praying for me.."  The very thought of Jesus smiling at me, dancing and singing....it's such a visual to me of his love...his covering and his faithfulness in the storm and in the calm.

Here is a clip of the song that I found on Youtube....