Tuesday, January 2, 2007

My Hero





Ahh...a few minutes of peace. Nathan is asleep in the swing, JD and Caleb are transfixed by the movie "Cars" and I am finally sitting down to begin my blogging career... I am going to blatently steal an idea from a friend here...This is going to be my "Thankful" blog. A place where I conciously record the happenings and relationships that I am so fortunante to have as a part of my story.

I want to start my Thankful blog by writing about my husband. I sometimes take him so forgranted. I have so much to be thankful for in him. Let me take you back a few years....

Monty and I met in the fall of 1998. I was 27 he was 31. I was running a girls home in downtown Denver. He was working at Youth for Christ and was the associate youth minister at a local church. We didnt start dating right away....but I did watch him a lot. You see, I had been hurt before and I was not about to fall for the first guy to come my way. I was a bit gunshy. But, as I found out..so was he. Yet, God in His soverignty brought us togehter.

I remember our wedding day... August 19, 2000. So many guys get "cold feet", but not Monty. He was so sure. He was all smiles. He was so excited to start our life together. Our honeymoon was amazing. We went to Cozumel...we went scuba diving, ate lobster on a dinner cruise and spent time sitting in hammocks by the ocean not saying anything..but just enjoying being us.

We lived in Arkansas the first couple years of our marriage. Monty worked as a jeweler, and I worked as a youth director at our church. The church went through a nasty split during our first six months there. I remember being so hurt and frustrated...Monty was my rock during that time. He was my rock. When my world crumbled...he was the one I went home to. HE was the one who saw me. When I was with him...I did not have to be "Strong" anymore. With him, it was ok to be scared and hurt. He was amazing.

We moved to Joplin, MO in August of 2002. Monty headed back to school. This was a major undertaking for him. He had ghosts to face in Joplin. He faced them head on. He was a different person than he had been. He was able to finish strong...to prove to himself that he could finish what he started. We bought our first home. Life was good. In November of that year, we found out we were pregnant. We also lost that baby. When that day came..and we realized that that little one was gone...Monty once again was the person who held me. He was the one who bought me our kitten "Mo", so I would have somthing "little" to take care of. He held me and let me cry. He was patient with my while I greived. He greived too...but his main concern was for me. I remember laying in bed just exhausted with grief...and he held me..wiped away the tears and prayed. Once again...he was my safe place.

A few months later we found out we were pregnant again. He was there for me through each stage of pregnancy. He took a 12 week natural childbirthing class with me. When JD arrived, he again was there. Helping me remember to relax. He was a proud Daddy. He took care of both of us. Somehow he balanced being a new Dad, taking 18 hours a semester and working full time. No one could ever accuse Monty of being lazy.

He finished up at OCC (Ozark Christian College) in the Spring of 2004. I was so proud of him. He had worked so hard and done what seemed to him to be impossible. He graduated and was heading into youth ministry. Being a youth pastor was his dream, what he felt called to do...

December of 2004, was Calebs drastic entrance into the world. (That is a whole different blog post yet to come) We were on our way to Flordia for a job interview for MOnty. I ended up having Caleb 9 weeks early while we were in Florida. Monty was once again my strong one while Caleb spent 4 weeks in the NICU. He was there for me as I recovered from a C- Section. He was the one who flew back to Joplin and in a week had our home up on the market, everything packed up and moved to Florida. I remember seeing him walk in the church in Florida on Christmas eve. He was a bit dishevled from traveling...but he made it in time for Christmas. I just remember the sense of relief I felt when I saw his blonde head walk through the door. I knew it was going to be OK. He was there..it was going to be OK.

We were in Florida for such a short time. Monty finally had his dream job. He was a youth pastor...he was so excited. That excitement was short lived as things at the church came crashing down within 8 months. I saw my hero broken. The man I loved was dissilousioned and hurt. He shut down. We moved to Denver. He pulled into a shell. All I could do was pray for him. I knew he would once again rise above things...I knew God would heal his heart. I just didn't know when.

May 2006 we moved to Oklahoma. We bought a house, life once again started to feel normal. Monty's scars were less visible. He was smiling again. He began to dream once more. He began his pursuit of the military chapliancy. A calling to one of the biggest "youth ministries" ever. He was ordained at College Heights in Joplin, He was commissioned as a 2nd Lt in the National Guard. HE beagan to look up again. I could tell that God had "restored what the locusts had eaten". I think he will always bear some scars...but the hurt is not overbearing anymore.

We had our third baby this fall. Once again, it was a close call for me. I will not soon forget seeing his tear filled eyes look at me while I was recovering from surgery. It's one of the only times I've seen my hero scared.

I can forget the many ways that my husband has been there. I can let the "dailyness" of life point out his flaws. I can be impatient and unkind at times. Yet even in my "ugly" moments, Monty has been patient. He has been gentle. He has been kind. However, he has been strong. He has led this family in a strong Godly manner. He protects us. He cherishes us. My boys will never have to wonder how thier Dad feels about them. He tells them everyday.
I never have to wonder how he feels about me. He loves me no matter what. I am greatful for the gift God gave me in Monty. I will love him forever. Thank you Lord for giving me exaclty what I prayed for. You are good to me.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Connie
What a cool idea. What you wrote about your husband is just amazing. I would think that is the best way to start a new year --thankfulness and recognition. Thank you for sharing your heart. You are being so transparent which is extremely hard for many people. You are an amazing woman adn it is fun to see you give God so much credit for your life. I wish you all a wonderful new year and may God bless you all tremendously!

Take care!
Misty

Keri said...

Hey, so I finally found your blog and read it. This one got me crying, not just tears, but crying. I am so thankful to God for you. Here's to a LOOONG friendship.