I was sitting at Panera Bread Co. yesterday having a bagel with 20 month old Nate. A few tables over from me, was a group of about 12 people having breakfast. It did not take me long to figure out that they were the staff of a local church. They all had their Bibles, notebooks and coffee. The pastor opened in prayer, another gal led a short devotional. Then they got on with business, reviewing the past Sunday, coming up with new ideas, sharing how God was working in their individual ministries. I had to admit as I picked up Nate's juice cup off the floor for the 5th time, that I was a bit jealous of them. 15 years of my life I served on some type of ministry staff. I remember well sitting around tables and brainstorming how to more effectively reach people for Christ. I remember what it felt like to be part of a team, to be a part of a "staff" of some sort. As I drove home, my eyes clouded with tears. I realized how badly I miss that. I don't think I had really felt it that much until that moment.
As I pondered on that throughout the day, I had another realization. I remember sitting in meetings like that, and glancing across the room and watching a young mother with her child. I remember what the ache for a husband and children felt like. I remember driving home with tears in my eyes wondering if I would ever know what it felt like to take my own child out for a bagel on a spring morning.
God gently reminded me that there are indeed seasons in life. If I spend my time missing what used to be...or yearning for what could be, I miss the beauty of the season I'm in. Lord remind me to be content in whatever circumstance I am in.