My Thankful Blog

Quiet

2009-07-17T23:49:00.003-05:00

It's nice and quiet now. The boys are sleeping. The house is relatively picked up, and I'm about to head to bed. Monty is in South Carolina, for more Chaplain training. He'll be there through the end of August. Life does look a bit different when he's not around. ( I have less laundry to do, so that is a plus ) Seriously, we do miss him. Yet, I'm so excited about this process. I'm so proud of his efforts to bring our family into the next phase of ministry. While he's gone, I"m going to try to get back into the habit of blogging. I have missed this outlet. It seems to get pushed aside when life gets crazy. Though I miss Monty, I do get some more quiet in my life while he is gone. Time for God to speak to me. Time for me to listen, to be still. Time to focus on Him.

My Bluebird

2009-04-13T11:58:00.001-05:00

So, this is the pair of bluebirds that have nested in the birdhouse on our fence. They are so beautiful. Of course, I had to figure out what they liked to eat. So, the boys and I researched it on line and figured out that they like " mealworms". Of course then, I had to buy some at the Wildbird store. Of course, the worms have to be stored in my fridge. So, every morning and noon, I feed the bluebirds. The male comes and perches on my windowsill and eats some of the worms and takes some of back to the nest. The male has even been known to peck at my window if I forget to feed him. It's been such a fun deal. I'm so greatful to the Lord and His great creativity.

The Johnson boys color easter eggs

2009-04-11T16:43:00.001-05:00

Enjoy this little video of the Johnson boys coloring eggs.....it was an adventure to say the least....

Sarah Beths Surgery

2009-03-01T23:14:00.003-06:00

Hello All,

Sarah is scheduled to have her surgery tomorrow (Monday) between 5PM and 7 PM EST. Thanks for your prayers. We know that God has Sarah in His hands. We just pray that all goes well. Thanks again...

My Cousin Sarah

2009-02-28T12:29:00.004-06:00

My Cousin, Sarah Beth, was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2005. Many of you reading this already know this story, but some of you don't. I won't go into the details of the past 4 years...if you're interested in knowing, please read her online diary at www.loveyourguts.com ..it's worth your time. The cancer metastasized - the main area of concern in the past year (plus) has been her brain. She has already had one surgery in 2007 to remove a brain tumor. The brain tumor they have been monitoring is now around 4cm. The symptoms/difficulty it causes her are worsening. She's kind of been in a holding pattern waiting for her doctors to come to some conclusion about what to do. chemo has been hanging there as an option, but yesterday she was advised by the 3 of them - her neurosurgeon/oncologist/radiation oncologist to go ahead with surgery and then chemo. So that's what she's going to do. They want her to do it sooner rather than later and gave her the option of today (saturday) or early in the week. She's going with early in the week, so it will be monday or tuesday. One of her reasons for wanting to wait until then is to give people more time to pray. she knows the power of prayer and feels the support of so many through that. it makes all the difference for her...so, that said..the reason for this note is to ask you to pray for her, whether you know her or not. If God moves you to do so, please pray. Please also pray for her Mom and Dad (Mark and Kathleen), her brothers (Jeremy and Jason), and the rest of us..we love this precious girl so very much. She is loved by many.Thank you, in advance, for lifting her up to the Lord, for speaking her name to Him and laying her and her circumstance at His feet.

Why blame the dark for being dark?

2009-02-20T15:38:00.003-06:00

I'm reading an interesting book these days. The author has many great ideas, and thoughts that have made me stop and think. He has some great thoughts about what the church could be, how the church was meant to act and what it's ultimate purpose is. Most of my life I've grown up in churches that are strong and take stands on issues. Which is great. That needs to be done. However, when I get email forwards asking me to boycott a certain actor for statements made at the Emmys, or listing all the wrong things with a particular celebrity or politician, I tend to think differently now. One thing the author said was "why blame the dark for being dark", instead, think why are Christians are not more full of light? Will a person be drawn to Christ because I boycott? Or will they come to Christ because I love them? Am I going to sit within the comfort of my christian world and refuse to purchase bubble gum because someone said they don't like Jesus? Does forming a picket line show God's love to people who desperatley need it? C'mon.....is that really what being a light is?

My Boys

2009-02-15T15:09:00.003-06:00

So..I don't really think they were napping...do you?

Hawks

2009-02-15T14:02:00.008-06:00

I first noticed the Hawk on the telephone pole as I was driving home from work. It was 14 years ago. I was going through a very painful breakup with my ex fiance. Everyday, as I climbed into my car, the tears would flow. I would cry all the way home. I noticed that every day, on the same fence post, was a hawk. After awhile, I started looking for him. Everyday, he was there. It seemed to me, that in the midst of the pain, God sent this Hawk to be a representative of his presence.

Since that time, I believe that God has sent me Hawks to tell me that it's going to be OK. Like the time one landed in my tree, just outside my front window in downtown Joplin. I had just received a call from the Doctor telling me that JD needed to be admitted to the hospital, he was only 3 days old. As the tears started to flow, the hawk landed in my tree and looked at me. A wave of peace came over me and I knew it was going to be OK. Or there was the time where Monty was out of work and we didn't know how we were going to meet any of our bills, and I saw a hawk on the power lines right outside our back door. Then there was the time I was on a walk two days before I had Nathan. A Hawk swooped down in my suburban neighborhood and landed in the street right in front of me. He paused, looked at me and then flew off. Two days later I had a ruptured Uterus and Nathan entered the world by emergency C-section. As I was laying on the table, I remembered the hawk. I knew it was going to be OK.

I saw one today. I was eating lunch with the boys and a hawk landed on a power line right outside the window. He looked at me and nodded and then flew off. Once again, I felt at peace. God is here, in the midst.

Our God is so mighty, so powerful that He can use the birds of the air to minister to us, his children who need to know his presence. I'm not sure why He chose a hawk for me. I just know He did. I'm reminded of the verse that states.." Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow or reap or gather food, but your heavenly father feeds them. How much more valuable are you to your heavenly Father than they..."

A Christmas I Corinthians 13

2008-12-23T19:30:00.001-06:00

If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls, but do not show love to my family, I'm just another decorator.

If I slave away in the kitchen baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime, but do not show love to my family, I'm just another cook.

If I work at the soup kitchens, carol in the nursing homes, and give all that I have to charity, but do not show love to my family, it profits me nothing.

If I trim the tree with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties, and sing in the choir's cantata but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point.

Love stops the cooking to hug the child.
Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the husband.
Love is kind, though harried and tired.
Love doesn't envy another's home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.
Love doesn't yell at the kids to get out of the way, but is thankful they are there to be in the way.
Love doesn't give only to those who are able to give in return, but rejoices in giving to those who can't.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails. Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will rust, but giving the gift of love will endure.

Merry Christmas
Author unknown

JD and the Manger

2008-12-15T23:29:00.003-06:00

JD has been very intruiged with the Nativity scene as of late. Today I grabbed the camera and asked him a few questions. Thought you might enjoy...

2008-12-04T22:37:00.003-06:00

YEah! It's Christmas season again! The tree is up, the mantel is lit up and my wonderful husband loaded 13 CD's worth of Christmas music onto my Ipod. I am a happy camper!

We went and cut down our tree again this year. Such a fun tradition. The boys love it more each year. Enjoy the pictures..

When I think of you...

2008-11-10T08:16:00.002-06:00

It's 8:17 am. I just got Caleb on the bus and headed to school. The other two boys are still asleep...and I'm enjoying my first cup of coffee and the quiet that is so rare in this house.

God has been working on me over the past few weeks. I had just felt "off", not depressed or sad, just kinda "blah." I wanted so badly to "feel and see" God in my daily life. For so many years I felt like we have gone from crisis to crisis. Be it a move, job loss, premature baby or loss of a loved one, we've faced those head on. In the midst of the crisis, I know how to act. I know how to trust in God...it's my only option. Living in surrender is easy during a crisis.

These past two and a half years I 've lived in the same house, worshipped at the same church, shopped at the same Wal-Mart. Stability is a wonderful thing. Yet in the midst of stability, I've found it easy to stagnate. To get comfortable. I've found it hard to stay faithful in my time with God. I have not felt the same closeness to the Lord that I felt during those raw moments of grief or fear. I know that God has not changed. His arms still encircle me, his love is the same. My sense of it is just different for some reason.

However, I've heard God whisper to me over the past few weeks. His whisper is gentle and has stirred my heart in ways that I've longed for. I was listening to a Michael W Smiths new worship CD in the car the other day, and found myself WEEPING out of sheer love for Jesus.

One song in particular has the African Childrens Choir in it. The song talks about how much Jesus really does love us. These kids are singing words like..." When I think of you I see you dancing...when I think of you I see you smiling at me...When I think of you I see you praying for me.." The very thought of Jesus smiling at me, dancing and singing....it's such a visual to me of his love...his covering and his faithfulness in the storm and in the calm.

Here is a clip of the song that I found on Youtube....

Museum, Movie and the Moon

2008-11-08T21:40:00.003-06:00

It's Monty's Drill weekend, and I always try to do somthing fun with the boys when he is out of town. Today was a great day....

Our adventures started out with me taking the boys to the Philbrook Museum here in Tulsa, OK. The museum has a FREE (yes, no charge) program for kids. They get an art box with supplies that they get to keep, and they had three different projects for the kids to do. The boys had a blast working on the different crafts. I was greatful for a fully supplied craft studio with helpers! We were there for almost two hours. So fun! (Thanks Jenni for the heads up about this program!)

We also saw a mantinee showing of Madagascar 2. Near my house there is a theater that shows the NEW movies for $2.50 per person. Gotta love that!

After the movie was over, we went home and I got the boys ready for bed. I told them we had to put on "Footie" jammies. We then grabbed some blankets and to thier delight we headed out to the backyard. We all snuggled under the blankets and watched the moon, the stars. The boys were giddy and wide eyed. It was so much fun!

We came inside and had some hot chocolate. I watched thier little faces smile and listened to thier great little giggles as they slurped up the half melted marshmallows. We then brushed teeth, read our stories, said our prayers and I tucked them each in bed.

It was a great day....thank you Lord

Groundhog Day...

2008-10-21T22:56:00.004-05:00

I haven't posted much recently. I have had lots of memorable moments with the boys. Life is never dull with them around. However, there are times when I don't feel like I have much to say. It's almost like life gets turned into a Mommy version of the movie "Groundhog Day." It's the same day everyday...

I don't want it to be like that. I don't think it will stay this way. It's just how I've felt over the past few weeks. Funny, how life can be a new adventure for children everyday..and I get stuck looking at the sink full of dishes, the laundry that needs folded, the diapers that need changed, the food that needs prepared. I think that's the challenge for Moms. It's finding the extraordinary in the ordinary. It's waking up...and not just walking through life in that "Mom" daze.

My prayer is that God will "wake me up" . I know the these days will pass all to quickly. I don't want to miss them....

I love Fall

2008-10-21T22:28:00.003-05:00

I love fall. I love the cooler weather (although Tulsa does not get cool quickly enough for my tastes...). I love Fall activities. I love taking the boys to Pumpkin Patches and Apple Orchards.

I love that I can have the windows open. I love that our air conditioning bills are down and our heating bills have not started to rise. I love long sleeved T-shirts and jeans. I love a cup of hot coffee in the morning when it's chilly outside. I love the leaves turning. I love driving along a tree lined street when the wind blows leaves off the trees and they tumble down around my car. I love pumpkin spice lattes at Starbucks. I love season premiers of my favorite TV Shows. I love Fall!

Immanuel - Songs Of Praise

2008-10-10T23:55:00.001-05:00

This was absolutely beautiful. I sang in choirs all through grade school, middle school, High School and College. I would have loved to just stand in the middle of this sanctuary and listen....

God is in Control

2008-09-27T00:27:00.004-05:00

My Dad had surgery today. His back has been giving him a lot of problems as of late. He went to the Doctor last week, and they scheduled and MRI. The radiologist contacted my Dad right away and told him it was imperative that he see a neurosurgeon. He got into the Neurosurgeon on Wednesday. The Surgeon postponed his vacation so he operate on my Dad today. It's a been a whirlwind. I'm glad to report that the surgery went well. There was some risk that he would have some permanent nerve damage that would leave him in a wheelchair. Praise God they were able to get in there and stop the progression of that nerve damage. There are a few other issues he will have to deal with due to some permanent nerve damage in other areas, but we are just so grateful that he will be able to walk! None of us knew it was this "bad". We knew he was in a lot of pain, but we did not know the danger he was in. Thank you Lord for taking care of him!

Another great thing happend today. As many of you know, my little Caleb has some severe speech delay issues. He is almost 4 and communicates at about a 2-2 1/2 year old level. He will "parrot" a lot of words back to you, but does not communicate needs or wants with words. We have him in a speech delay preschool and have used some sign language with him. It's very exhausting trying to figure out what he wants. I just want to know what is going on in that little noggin.

Today, I took the boys to a pumpkin patch. Caleb picked up a little pumpkin and said... "Turtle hungry". What is remarkable about this statement, is he is recalling the memory of a different pumpkin patch that we went to A YEAR AGO. They had a large tortoise there that was eating a small pumpkin. The more I thought about it, the more choked up I got. He was able to, for the first time, relay a memory to me. A memory that he has up there in his little head...and it was finally able to make it past his lips...and I could understand what he was saying. It was a HUGE deal, and leaves me in tears still.

Both of these events, though very different , impress on me that God is in control. He is moving and even though the progress may be slow or the process painful, He is in control. He is in control.....

Saved by Love

2008-09-14T23:09:00.003-05:00

I love my boys. They are amazing little gifts. I am so greatful for the time God has given us with each of them. However, in the midst of having a 2, 3 and 4 year old, I'm tired. I'm flat out exhausted. I want to be the best wife and mother that I can be. I've only got one shot at this. It's just hard sometimes. I've been struggling lately. I'm easily annoyed and frustrated. This is not who I am. It's not who I want to be. It's just a tiring season. I want to raise these boys up to love and serve the Lord. I desire for them to fall in love with Jesus and to be great men of God. I need refreshing. I need to know I'm doing a good job. I don't want to fail at the greatest oppourtunity God has given me.

I think sometimes when the day is over, the toys are picked up, the dishes done and the house is quiet is when I feel the most overwhelmed and relieved all at once. It's a strange emotion. I can't really explain it. Maybe other of you stay at home Moms know what I mean. Its at these moments when I truly need to cling to my Father in heaven. He knows what I can handle. He knows where my breaking points are. He knows what I need. The rest I desire is not just physical, it's emotional and spiritual as well. Lord...help me on this road of Motherhood, to be who you want me to be. Nothing more, nothing less.

Jesus Is My Friend

2008-09-11T14:00:00.001-05:00

Ok..sit back and laugh. My sister sent me this clip the other day. All I can say is ...."wow...."

Summer 2008

2008-09-10T13:27:00.001-05:00

Here is a taste of our summer...now that it's all over....

Actual Conversation

2008-08-22T14:49:00.002-05:00

I was at Hobby Lobby with JD yesterday. We were in line waiting to check out, and a friend of his from church and his parents were behind us in line. The conversation between the two 4 year old boys went as follows:

Tate: "Hey JD"
JD: "Hey Tate"
Tate: "So how ya been doin these days?"
JD: "Good"
JD "So, have you been watching the Olympics?"
Tate: "No, I haven't"
JD: "Well, you should, Michael Phelps is the Coolest.."

I had to laugh. We have watched A LOT of the Olympics around here!

My First Crack at Homeschooling

2008-08-22T14:01:00.008-05:00

Well, after much prayer, a lot of discussion and honestly a lot of reservation on my side, we have started the

homeschooling journey. We've decided to take it "year by year, and kid by kid" to see how it goes. This year, JD gets to be my guinea pig. ( Caleb is going to continue his speech delay classes M-W at a local school and Nater is not quite 2 so no school for him yet!)

Our reasoning for homeschooling (or at least giving it a shot), has a lot to do with Monty heading into the military chaplaincy. In a couple of years, we will Lord willing go active duty and then we will be at the whim of the Army as to where we live. Most often this means moving quite a bit. I think it will be difficult for them educationally if they are jumping around from school to school during their formative elementary years.

JD technically would not start Kindergarten until next year in the Public School system. So, we thought this would be a great "dry run" year. If I find that I can't handle it, or absolutely hate it, we can move on and try something else. At least this year I'm willing to give it a shot.

I've started Kindergarten curriculum with JD this week. I have honestly been very surprised how much we both like it. I'm not a real "crafty" person. So, the whole idea of breaking out scissors, paint and glue was not exactly my idea of a fun way to spend the morning. I have really enjoyed it so far. We've had a lot of good time together, and it's been a lot of fun.

A time to Clean..and a time to make a mess

2008-08-17T17:15:00.002-05:00

This is how the Johnson boys make cookies....

Emily

2008-07-30T20:38:00.002-05:00

So, I just have to tell this story. It's pretty stinkin amazing and I thought that it was worth sharing. Many of you know that I worked on youth staff at Mission Hills Church in Colorado for many years. During my time there, I got the chance to work with so many amazing young women. This story is about one of "my" girls and her recent engagement.

Emily graduated from High School in 1998. She then attended Cedarville University in Ohio. After graduating from college, she returned to Colorado and has worked in the Real Estate business there for the past few years. She is an amazing woman of God who has served Him faithfully in her singleness.

This past year started dating a guy that she had gone to college with at Cedarville. From the start, thier relationship has been rooted and grounded in the Lord. They both have a heart for Him and have honored him in thier relationship.

Over the first week of July, Emily had gone to Ohio to visit Josh. (She lives in Denver, he lives in Dayton, OH). She was staying at a friends house during her visit. Josh came over, and told her that she needed to pack her bags. She did so, and they headed off to an unknown locations. Much to her confusion, they headed to the airport and boarded a plane headed for London. They did indeed fly to Europe. During thier time there, they spent time visiting several missionaries. They went to Vienna, and eventually Prauge.

It was in Prauge where on a rainy morning Josh took Emily out for a walk. They ended up in front of a beatiful statue of Jesus, in front of a cathedral. He then pulled a water bottle and towell from his backpack and washed her feet. He then read some scriptures depicting Jesus' view of servant leadership. He then proposed and she greatfully accepted.

What she did not know, is that Josh had arranged for Emily's parents and brother and His Mother and Sister to join them in Prauge. From a distance, they had secretly photographed the moment. As Emily and Josh walked away from the cross and through the plaza, her parents came into her view and gave her the surprise of her life! It was truly amazing.

They are planning a wedding sometime before Chrirstmas and are heading to Africa for a Missions trip in February. They truly are a Godly couple. I couldn't be happier for them!

Here's a video of the surpise "unveiling" of her parents...

So much to be Thankful for

2008-07-26T14:29:00.005-05:00

Our 1994 Chevy Tahoe has had some issues. Mind you, the car was a gift to us, and for that we are continually thankful. However, it has had some radiator issues. Monty has been adding fluid before work everyday and I believe he's been adding some before he returns home. Not good. Monty is a wonderful man, who can fix anyone's jewelry or paintball gun pretty much blindfolded. However, he will admit to anyone, he is not a great "car guy". His schedule and our budget have just not allowed us to get it fixed.

Today, two guys from our Sunday School Class (err, I mean, Adult Bible Fellowship Class) came over with tools in hand. They took the old radiator out and were just about to leave to go get a new radiator, when Jake asked me if I had the receipt for the broken radiator (it was only two years old). We are not the greatest "receipt keepers" in the world, but I went to look for it. Lo and behold...I found it. It was in a file labeled "car stuff"...very professional don't you think? Because of that piece of paper, the radiator was replaced for FREE! That is a savings of $200+. Jake and Dewayne had the Tahoe up and running. I fed them pizza, which seems like a small payment for such a big job! Thank you guys...you are a true blessing us!

My other exciting news is after searching for an outdoor toy box in countless garage sales, I found one yesterday! I drove up to this sale yesterday and spotted the absolute perfect toy box. It was full of random toys that were labeled "free". I asked the gentleman if the toy box was for sale. He said... "If you take the toys in the toy box, I'll give it to you for $10". No joke! So, I handed over the said $10, loaded up the toy box and drove home. My boys were ecstatic to browse through a toy box full of new treasures. (I tossed a bunch of them when the boys went to bed..)

So, all that to say that God is so good. He really is "Jehovah Jirah"...my provider! He takes care of our needs and even a few of our wants along the way.

Thank you Lord for your continual hand in our lives. Thanks for friends who sacrifice their time on a hot July Saturday , thanks for a new toy box for the back yard. You are so good to us...

I'm back

2008-07-22T14:40:00.006-05:00

Hello All...no I did not fall off the face of the earth. I am still here. It has been a crazy past month, full of traveling, family and friends. On June 26th, the boys and I headed towards Denver to help throw a 40th Wedding Anniversary party for my folks. I survived the 800 mile trip with the boys ALONE...thank you very much. They actually are good travelers. Monty flew in on the 5th of July and was able to be there for the open house on the 6th of July.

The Open House was such a great time. It was a fun way for my sisters and I to honor our folks. The three of us have not been together for a very long time. (Cari, my youngest sister, lives in San Diego. Christy and her family live in Denver. So, getting us all in one geographical location is not easy. Cari got to meet Nathan for the first time! ) We had about 75 people turn out for the event. It was really a testimony to their faithfulness to Christ and to each other.

We arrived home on the 9th of July. I've honestly had a bit of a rough time getting back in the swing of things. It seems like the laundry would not quit, and I was more crabby than normal. I'm not sure what that was all about. I feel like I'm coming out of the post vacation fog and putting one foot in front of the other.

Monty is really swamped and work and trying to do Grad School work and National Guard and be a husband and Father....you might pray for him. He's stretched really thin right now. He's so tired all of the time. I'm actually pretty concerned for him. I'm trying to do all I can to not put things on his plate, because his is so full. I keep reminding myself that this is a "season".

Anyway..the kids are all napping (praise the Lord.) and I need to go get some things done..and spend time with God. Wait...don't I have the order reversed on that?

Swim Lessons....

2008-06-25T17:06:00.003-05:00

For the past two weeks, JD and Caleb have had swimming lessons every morning. They have had BLAST. They love being under water and have actually progressed really well. They love to jump off the diving board and have fallen in love with goggles. They are getting so tan and so blonde...ahh the joys of summer!

Oh the difference....

2008-06-25T00:19:00.002-05:00

Boys are so much different than girls. I realized this tonight as I was putting JD to bed. We had had some sweet time together. I had read books, we snuggled under the covers and we prayed. I was leaving the room with a smile on my face...when my sweet boy said this...

"Mommy, if there were bad guys, I would poke them with a sword and they would bleed everywhere..."

Ahh.. the words every mother wants to hear as her son drifts off to sleep.

Delight vs. Tolerate

2008-06-06T14:43:00.007-05:00

I just got done making Peanut Butter cookies with Caleb. He was supposed to be napping. However, sleep would not come for him at his regular nap time. His brothers were both asleep, yet Caleb was inconsolable as he lay in his toddler bed. Usually, I am a stickler and do not give in to tantrums. I was getting ready to start on my "to do" list, when the overwhelming desire to make cookies with Caleb came over me. This does not typically happen. So, I went into his room and retrieved a very grateful 3 year old. We made our way to the kitchen and he helped me make cookies with the sheer delight. I let him eat brown sugar and fingers full of peanut butter. He helped me use the mixer and we each licked a "beater" clean.

Once the cookie making process was done and we had each had a glass of milk, I sent him back to his room. I didn't hear a sound from him for two hours. I guess he was hungry for some "Mommy" time. I find that even though I'm home with the boys all day long, that I sometimes don't spend the time with them that I need too. I get wrapped up in volunteer projects, checking email, talking on the phone, cleaning, laundry...you get the picture. My prayer lately is that I will delight in my children...not just tolerate them. Anyone else feel that way?

Memorial Day

2008-05-28T11:25:00.001-05:00

Boy Land

2008-05-24T13:31:00.000-05:00

JD commented to me this morning that "our backyard is like boyland"...Couldn't have said it better myself. We love it.

Bagels

2008-05-14T13:20:00.004-05:00

I was sitting at Panera Bread Co. yesterday having a bagel with 20 month old Nate. A few tables over from me, was a group of about 12 people having breakfast. It did not take me long to figure out that they were the staff of a local church. They all had their Bibles, notebooks and coffee. The pastor opened in prayer, another gal led a short devotional. Then they got on with business, reviewing the past Sunday, coming up with new ideas, sharing how God was working in their individual ministries. I had to admit as I picked up Nate's juice cup off the floor for the 5th time, that I was a bit jealous of them. 15 years of my life I served on some type of ministry staff. I remember well sitting around tables and brainstorming how to more effectively reach people for Christ. I remember what it felt like to be part of a team, to be a part of a "staff" of some sort. As I drove home, my eyes clouded with tears. I realized how badly I miss that. I don't think I had really felt it that much until that moment.

As I pondered on that throughout the day, I had another realization. I remember sitting in meetings like that, and glancing across the room and watching a young mother with her child. I remember what the ache for a husband and children felt like. I remember driving home with tears in my eyes wondering if I would ever know what it felt like to take my own child out for a bagel on a spring morning.

God gently reminded me that there are indeed seasons in life. If I spend my time missing what used to be...or yearning for what could be, I miss the beauty of the season I'm in. Lord remind me to be content in whatever circumstance I am in.

Laminin

2008-05-11T16:14:00.002-05:00

Our God is amazing. He is so intimately aquainted with us. This video is about 8 minutes long, but so worth it.

Spring

2008-05-07T08:22:00.007-05:00

Here are a few shots of our spring so far. The last few pictures include the newest addition to our backyard. We were able to get a swinset/playset for the boys. The Lord really provided and I'm humbled that he gives us not just our needs...but at times our desires. We have wanted to get the boys a playset for a long time. God really did out do himself. Thank you Lord.

Realization

2008-05-01T00:00:00.003-05:00

Over the past few days I have embarked on the journey of closet cleaning/ clothes sorting. It's time to break out the summer clothing and pack up the winter clothing. I do the "closet shuffle" moving clothing from JD's closet to Calebs, Calebs to Nate. It dawned on me as I sat in a pile of 12Month clothing that is to small for Nate, that I have no other child to hand these clothes down to. I know God has completed our family. I know that I am not meant to have anymore children (a seriously ruptured uterus and two c-sections will do that). Even still, there was a twinge of sadness as I packed up these outfits that all three of my boys have worn. It was yet another reminder that they don't stay small. They are growing up....all to quickly

JD's First week at Home

Caleb weighing in at barely 5lbs and 6 weeks old

Little Nathan in the Hospital

Playlands

2008-04-27T13:06:00.004-05:00

Being a Mother of 3 boys gives me a unique perspective on life. Boys are a strange breed. The need to climb, run, jump and explore are an absolute necessity to their survival. I have grown accustomed to them jumping off the arms of my couches, climbing trees and scaling door frames.

I am not grossed out by the toads and worms they seem to always find in the backyard. I don't balk at them getting dirty and muddy. It's just part of the package.

When the weather is rainy, or it's to cold to go outside, I've often resorted to taking them to a fast food restaurant with a play land to "get some wiggles out". It is here that I am faced with a dilemma. The dilemma is based around the slide. My boys love the slide. They go down it with gusto and climb it with ease. Sometimes they climb up the stairs and go down, other times they climb up the inside of the slide. There have been times when, a mother (most likely a mother of girls...no offense to my friends who only have daughters) absolutely insists on their child going down the slide the "right" way. I can only assume that means going up the stairs and down the slide in that order. Several Mothers have looked sideways at me while explaining to their child just loud enough for me to hear that "We never go up the slide, that's not the right way to do that".

I do insist on my boys being courteous, watching out for "littler" kids, no pushing or being rude. But I absolutely will let them climb and run and play. It's a PLAY land. Is there really a rule book for proper slide etiquette? If so, I've obviously misplaced it.

Living the Dream

2008-04-23T21:34:00.004-05:00

Well, it seems like the boys are on the rebound. After Calebs ordeal, JD got sick for a couple of days. I'm so done with fevers and sickness. Thanks for your prayers. It's great to see them up and around and being the crazy boys they are.

Yesterday, Caleb had fun with eggs. Unfortunately, he had fun with them on the freshly mopped kitchen floor. He got in a bit of trouble, and I made him clean them up. I did manage to snap a few pictures of the mess. I know someday, when the boys are older, I will miss these days. However, at the moment, it can be a bit annoying! (Funny...but annoying)

Monty built a tree house for the boys. They LOVE it. JD ate his lunch up there yesterday. I think he'd sleep in it if we let him. Our back yard is coming together to be a fun backyard for the boys. I'm so glad its warm outside and we can let the boys play.

I'm so grateful for my life. I may be exhausted, and I worn out at times. But I wouldn't trade it. I remember when I was single and wondered if I would ever get married and have kids. I longed for the day when I could spend time raising children and taking care of my husband. I now have this dream as a reality. I need to remember that I am living smack in the middle of my dream...

The best laid plans...

2008-04-21T08:42:00.002-05:00

So, the boys and I were planning on heading to Grandmas to help out and just spend some sweet time with her. She is doing much better, but was a little nervous about being alone. So, last weekend, I ran around town like a crazy person, trying to get everything done for a 12 hour road trip with three boys. We were planning on leaving on Tuesday.

Monday arrives and Caleb has a fever. I'm not the type of Mom who rushes to the Doctor for every sniffle, but I figured we had better figure out what was going on. The appointment took a few minutes and we filled a prescrition for an antibiotic and headed home. Tuesday the fever was still here and we were giving him tylenol/motrin every four hours. His fever would not go below 103 even with the medicine. Tuesday evening his fever went to 106 and I decided that an emergency room visit was in order. After several hours,IV's and Xrays it turns out the little guy has pnemonia.

We went home and he went in for a check up on Thursday. Still running a fever, still miserable. The Doctor did not seem overly concerned. Just said it would have to run it's course. Friday, Calebs nose started running in a way that I did not know the human nose could. It was actually POURING out of his little nose. He started drooling and would not drink anything. (He also had not really eaten since Monday. ) Saturday morning Caleb came into our room at about 4 AM. We pulled him in bed with us, he was burning up. He stayed in our bed motionless until 10:30 am. I made an appointment for him at the urgent care center at Childrens Hospital.

We headed down to the urgent care center. My neighbors watched the other two boys until my wonderful friend Jasmine could get to our house to take the boys home with her for the night. The Doctors at the urgent care center were really concerned over little Caleb. They found a HUGE abcess on the roof of his mouth (which explains the drooling) They were afraid that he may have abcesses throughout his sinuses, so they did a CT scan as well as X-rays to check on the pnemonia. They gave him IV antibiotics and steroids as well as fluids. They were going to admit us, but the had given him all the medicine they could and figured he would sleep better at home. So, they gave him Tylenol with Codine and sent us home for the night. We had to go back in the morning for more medicine etc.

THANKFULLY, the medicine has seemed to work. He's still not "better", but he's much improved. What a crazy week. I'm exhausted!

News

2008-04-10T20:44:00.003-05:00

I just got off the phone with my parents. My Grandma was just taken to the emergency room with heart related pain. My Grandma is 90 years old and lives alone in a small town in Nebraska. Grandma is one of the most Godly people I know. She and I have been so close through the years. I know that she would want nothing more than to go home to be with Jesus. I long for her to be with the saviour whom she has served faithfully for over 7 1/2 decades. However, if this is the beginning of the end for her, my heart trembles and tears flow freely as I try to imagine my life without her. She has always been a phone call away, and I know that many things that have occurred in my life are a direct result of her faithful prayers. Anyway, if you could send up a prayer for her, for us, it would be greatly appreciated.

Seeds

2008-04-01T22:37:00.004-05:00

I don't enjoy gardening. I never have. I hear people talk about "loving" the smell of the earth and finding in gardening a great sense of stress relief. I on the other hand detest gardening. I find it annoying and time consuming. I don't like pulling weeds, and I feel like I'm wasting money when I water the lawn.

However, in a great twist of irony, I have a child who is absolutely fascinated with plants and watching things grow. So, last week JD and I went to Lowes, and purchased a small green house geared for children. We dutifully planted the seeds and carefully set them in the window. Wouldn't you know it...they grew. In the process, I've become strangely excited about seeing if they will actually survive and eventually bloom.

As a mother, I have the priviledge and responsibilty to sow seeds in my childrens lives. Everyday God gives me opportunities to tell my children about Him. Everyday I have the oppourtunity to live a life in front of them that reflects Christ. I know that ultimately, like the seeds JD and I have planted, it's God who is responsible for the growth. Each of my boys will have to stand on thier own before God. My prayer is that I will faithfully sow seeds of truth and tend to the tender shoots of growth while I have them in my care. My hope as a Mother is that when the harvest comes, that these three boys will be Godly men sowing seeds for the next generation.

Lets go surfin now....

2008-03-31T15:26:00.003-05:00

Well, the project is just about done. We finally got the boys bathroom looking like a boys bathroom. We got rid of the floral wallpaper and teal cabinets, and traded them for crisp white cabinets and a cool "surfin" blue wall. I have a surfboard shower curtain and floor mat, and we got some other surf board accents on the wall as well. I'm going to put some of the boys old swim trunks up on the wall too...just have to get them out of storage... Anyway....just thought I'd share some pictures....

Playing...Playing with the boys....

2008-03-27T22:38:00.003-05:00

It's finally nice out! It was in the mid 80's here today. Monty got home from work and

spent the next couple of hours playing outside with the boys. We even grilled and ate out on the patio. The boys are so much fun. Thanks Lord for the daily gift that they are!

Easter Day at the Johnsons

2008-03-23T21:33:00.000-05:00

Watch out Girls...

2008-03-08T20:42:00.004-06:00

So...I think JD is going to be a little heart breaker someday. I had just taken a shower and gotten ready for the day. I came out to the living room and began playing with Thomas the Tank Engine trains with JD on the floor. The conversation we had is as follows:

JD: "Mommy...you smell beautiful..."

Me: " Thank you JD, that was really nice of you to say. Where did that comment come from?

JD "It came from my heart...."

We can all say a collective ..."Awww...how cute..."
Watch out girls...my boy is a sweetheart...

Coffee and the still small voice

2008-03-05T08:59:00.005-06:00

I woke up this morning to get Caleb ready for school. He attends a special speech delay class on Mondays and Wednesdays at a local grade school. We live far enough away from the school that they bus him. It's actually quite cute to see him struggle to get up the stairs on the bus. He's only 3, and is really little for his age...and they send a full sized bus to pick him up!

Anyway, the bus driver is an elderly gentleman who is full of smiles and knows Caleb by name. I've noticed that he always has a coffee cup in hand (my kind of person). So, this morning I woke up and had the thought... "I think I should take a fresh pot of coffee out to the bus this morning and see if he needs a refill" This is not a normal thought, so I guessed it must be from God. So, I got up, fixed a pot of coffee and took it out to him. Wouldn't you know it, his coffee cup was empty, and he was really excited to have a fresh cup.

I don't know why God prompted me to do that, but I was really excited about it. It really is fun when you listen to that "still small voice..."

This is a video of the bus driver carrying Caleb to the bus on his first day this past December.

I'm Back

2008-03-01T19:48:00.005-06:00

Well...after 8 days of what the doctor diagnosed as " The Flu, Bronchitis and and advanced sinus infection", I'm now on the mend and able to complete full sentences. Sheesh...that was not fun.

It was absolutely gorgeous here in Tulsa. The boys got to run around outside and PLAY PLAY PLAY. I didn't think I was ready for spring yet, but after a day like today...bring it on! I love sending the boys out back to just be boys. I love that they come in smelling like sand and dirt. I love that they are noisy out there. I love hearing thier laughter float in through the open windows. I also love that they fall asleep by 7:30 PM after a day in the sun!

Caleb insisted on wearing goggles in the tub!

Here's Nate Getting Cleaned up!

Jesus?

2008-02-19T20:09:00.003-06:00

I just laid Caleb down in his bed. He sat up and pointed at the rocking chair in his room and said..." Jesus?"
I know that he means he wants to be held and rocked. So, I scoop him and his "gankie" (blanket) up and we go sit down in the rocker. As I sing "Jesus Loves Me", I can feel his body begin to relax. His breathing gets more rythmical. He snuggles up against me and I keep singing...
"...Yes, Jesus loves me...the Bible tells me so..."

I cradle him in my arms and slowly carry him to his bed. His eyes are closed....and the last word to come out of his sleepy mouth...while pointing with a small little finger is.... "Jesus?"..... and He falls asleep.

What a great picture. Jesus longs to hold us...to cradle us...to keep us safe and give us rest. "Jesus?"....
"Yes my child ....I love you.....now rest....."

Come unto me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest....

Much to do....

2008-02-19T15:46:00.003-06:00

Monty was made acting manager at the jewelrey shop a couple of weeks ago. He has 30 days to "prove" he's the man for the job. The store is behind him and the district manager is confident in him. However, they had to fire someone yesterday, which leaves them short handed in the post-Valentines day rush. He's been working crazy hours and is pretty sick in the midst of it all. If you could send up a prayer for them this week....that would be WONDERFUL. Thanks so much.....

In sickness and in Health

2008-02-19T14:13:00.004-06:00

Well, our night out was very good. I must tell you though, it was not exactly what I had envisioned. Monty and I (Monty more so than me) were sick. In fact, by the time Monty got off work on Friday, he had no voice. We decided to go on with things as planned, it's so rare to get a night away from the kids...we were not going to let it pass us by. So, we whispered our way through a nice dinner. We got to our hotel around 10:00 PM. We went straight to bed and slept for 12 full hours. We literally collapased on the bed and just slept. We woke up in time for the breakfast buffett...went down and ate...went back to the room... more cold medicine and vicks vapor rub...and stayed until Noon. Then we came home. Caleb came home with a fever of 103...and so it begins with the kids. JD did spend the night with Jasmine and Rex again. He was having A LOT of fun. I'm glad he got the chance to do that, we were not much fun at home. Lots of couch sitting and coughing.

Anyway...it was really nice to get some much needed rest. In spite of our coughing and cold medicene, we did enjoy just being together. Sometimes that's all we need. Just time to be together....in sickness and health right?

Dating

2008-02-15T18:04:00.003-06:00

It's 6:04 PM and the house is quiet. Not an ordinary occurance. My wonderful friends Jasmine and Rex have taken ALL THREE of our boys for the night. Monty and I get to go out to dinner and then we are actually staying in a motel overnight. The last time the two of us got away for a night was August of 2006. I think it's time. I'm really looking forward to being just "us" for 24 whole hours.

I'm sure my boys will have fun. Jasmine and Rex have 5 kids of thier own. So, thier house will be full of 8 children....6 and under. I hope they can get some sleep tonight. JD has been soooo excited all week about this night. He told me that he didn't think we would have as much fun as he was going to have at his friends house. I beg to differ.

So...now I need to go pack our bags and get out of my "Mom" clothes (long sleeve t shirt and jeans) and into my "going on a date" clothes. It's so easy to forget I'm a wife and not just a Mom. I'm so greatful for the chance to just be "me" tonight. Thanks Lord for providing for every detail of this weekend.

My Hubby

2008-02-13T11:44:00.003-06:00

Tomorrow is Valentines Day. I'm so greatful for the husband God gave me. Monty is a constant source of encouragement, strength and laughter. We're going on 8 years Baby.. Love you forever....

Jesus is a Rock

2008-02-04T14:04:00.001-06:00

SNOW

2008-01-31T20:38:00.000-06:00

I love snow. We don't get nearly enough here in Oklahoma. It snowed for a few hours today. So like any good Mom...I bundled my kids up and sent them outside. I'm not feeling that great today, but I too bundled up and helped make a snowman. Thats what memories are made of.

Things I learned between 4:00PM and 8:00 PM

2008-01-29T21:33:00.000-06:00

In four hours I learned...

1) Cats do not like shaving cream, but toddlers like
putting shaving cream on cats.

2) Cats do not like baths.

3) A crying 15 month old will scream an entire octave higher when he sits down in a bath with a bad case of diaper rash.

4) When a child empties an entire bottle of "tearless" shampoo in the water, and then opens his eyes underwater...it still stings

5) Blue Sharpie Marker can be removed from a childs skin with a baby wipe (really it can)

6) A 4 year old who ate a huge dinner, can still be found "sneaking" a snack of yogurt and a banana IN HIS BED.

7) Some kids like to sleep in Cow Costumes.

8) Being a Mother is never dull.

Kids, Kids, Kids

2008-01-27T23:20:00.000-06:00

This past week was filled with many little people. On Monday, I had the prividlege of watching my friend Keri's two kids, Anna and Bo. Anna is 3 and Bo is 1. My boys had so much fun with friends over. On Wednesday, my friend Jasmine and her husband were able to take a much needed trip to Arizona. We got to watch thier youngest three kids from Wednesday until Saturday. So yes, from Wednesday until Saturday I had 6 kids. JD 4, Caleb and Taylor 3, Gabby and Nate 1, and Isaah 6 months.

My house was crazy busy all week. It had it's crazy moments...but it was really a blessing to be able to have my friends kids in our home. It reminded me of my home, when I was a child. Growing up, our house was always the place where kids felt at home. I hope to continue that leagacy. I think we are off to a good start.

The Toilet Saga continues

2008-01-26T22:03:00.000-06:00

It's been a comedy of errors... Monty has replaced the bowl on the guest bathroom toilet. He replaced all the "inner parts" of the toilet as well. He was finishing that up, tightened the last bolt...and the tank cracked. Back to Home Depot. This time he came home with a new tank. We opened up the box...the lid was/is cracked. Home depot is now closed. Monty is now in the process of replaceing the bowl of the toilet in our bathroom. I just hope that everything goes well, if not we will have no where to pee in the morning! Yikes!

Also...I want to rip the wall paper OFF of this bathroom...any suggestions on colors to paint it?

Who's in there?

2008-01-23T13:15:00.000-06:00

There are toys in my toilets....somewhere. The plumber could not get them out with his auger thingy and was going to pull the toilets (yes BOTH toilets have toys) and charge us $200 to fish out the toys. I said...umm....I think Monty can do it. The nice plumber did not charge me...and now Monty has a crappy job to do when he comes home. (pun intended...)

I'll let you know which toy(s) are lurking around in the toilet. Is it army men? Is it a truck? We will know soon enough....

Jesus bring the rain

2008-01-21T22:23:00.001-06:00

Once again, I have stolen a video from a friend. My dear friend Paige, posted this on her new blog...(I highly recommend following her story, she's amazing) She has allowed God to move in her, and has been a witness to the fact that it is possible to praise God in the midst of heartbreak. I am greatful and humbled to call her friend.

I have walked through some dark times. I have some dear friends who are at this very moment, sorting through lifes mess. May our hearts desire echo that of the words in this song.

- Mercy Me Lyrics

http://www.paigeallison.blogspot.com/ Check Out Paiges Blog....

I think God is trying to tell me something

2008-01-11T10:16:00.000-06:00

I've been reading in I Kings the last couple of weeks or so. I just have been so amazed at how much I've forgotten over the years. I've spent so much time in the New Testament and Psalms, that I forget about the treasures that are there in the Old Testament.

Anyway, I was reading in I Kings 12. King Solomon had just died and his son Rehoboam had just taken the throne. The Northern Tribes of Israel had just approached the King and basically pledged their support to him if he would lighten up their load a bit. Rehoboam then called his fathers counselors around him and asked them what he should do. They said ... " If you will be a servant to these people today, will serve them, grant their words to them, then they will be their servants forever..." Verse 8 says this... " But he forsook the counsel of the elders had given him and consulted with the young men who grew up with him and served him..." Ultimately, this was a VERY BAD decision for old King Rehoboam.

This goes along with what I've been learning about aging. I think to often we, or at least I do, seek advice from my peers, when there is a huge, vast store of wisdom from women who have walked ahead of me. I love my friends, don't get me wrong. Their input is SO valuable to me. I know that God has lessons for me to learn that can only be gleaned from those who are farther along on this journey.

God has given me a very practical way to do that coming up at a women's retreat from my church. I had signed up with a friend of mine. We were planning on staying in a room with two older women from our church. I was excited about this. Yesterday, my friend called and told me that some other people had shifted her out of our room without asking her, and moved her into their room. In addition, another woman had taken her place in our room. So, this leaves me in a room with 3 women that are 65 or over. At first I was tempted to be disgruntled. I don't want to miss out on what all the "fun young" people are doing. Then I read the passage in I Kings this morning and realized I have a chance to be in a room with people who have "been there...done that." I can utilize this time and learn, learn, learn~! God is sovereign...I'm excited to see what he will do.

17th Century Nun

2008-01-10T23:30:00.000-06:00

I found this letter, written by a 17th Century Nun. It fit so well with my previous post, I thought I'd include it...

Lord,

You know better than I know myself that I am getting older and will someday be old. Keep me from getting talkative, and from the fatal habit of thinking I must say something on every subject and on every occasion. Release me from the craving to straighten out every body's affairs. Make me thoughtful, but not moody; helpful but not bossy. With my vast store of wisdom it seems a pity not to use it all, but you know Lord, that I want a few friends in the end.
Keep my mind from the recital of endless details, give me wings to come to the point. I ask for grace enough to listen to the tales of others pains. But seal my lips on my own aches and pains, they are increasing and my love of reciting them is becoming sweeter as the years go by. Help me to endure with patience.

I dare not ask for an improved memory, but for a growing humility and a lessening cock sureness when my memory seems to clash with the memories of others. Teach me the glorious lesson that occasionally it is possible that I may be mistaken.

Keep me reasonably sweet. I do not want to be a saint, some of them are so hard to live with- but a sour old woman is one of the crowning works of the devil.

Give me the ability to see good in unexpected places and talents in unexpected people and give me, Oh Lord, the grace to tell them so...

Aging

2008-01-10T22:47:00.000-06:00

So, I was out having coffee the other morning. I sat there by myself (ahh..to have more moments like that...) and I was observing the people around me. There was a group of "old" men, sitting around solving the worlds problems. There was also another group of "older" women sitting around smiling and laughing. It got me thinking about aging. I pondered on the thought that there are typically two types of older women. There are those women who as they get older fall more in love with Jesus and seem to be a magnet for others. Then there are those who become bitter, snitty and seem to repel others.

I realize though, that bitter old women, did not just wake up that way when they reached 70. They probably exhibited some of those same traits as a "20 something". Bitterness does not age well. Yet, those older women who seem to grow in strength and dignity...those who radiate Christ..they were probably seeking Him and serving Him as a 20 something. Both sets of women probably faced trials and suffered loss. I believe that the first category of women learned to live in grace. I can imagine that the second category of women did not. I wholeheartedly desire to be in the first category.

Hope

2008-01-05T20:41:00.000-06:00

This past year a family friend of ours lost his wife to cancer and his son in a hunting accident. The following is an amazing exerpt from his latest blog entry. His wife wrote this last year around this time. She had struggled for years with a very aggresive type of cancer. The words really spoke to me....I just had to share them with you.

“We were created for hope. Our bones were bred for hope. Our lungs can't breathe, our hearts won't beat and our spirits can't thrive without it. God placed us in a world over which we have little control. And as if to compensate for this helplessness, He placed in our souls the capacity to hope-to hope for better times, to dream of better places, to pray for better outcomes, to seek better ways through life. Hope is more than optimism. Optimism is what we generate. Hope is God given, a powerful,
spiritual and psychological means for transcending the circumstances.
Hebrews 6:19 tells us that Christian Hope is a "sure and steadfast anchor for the soul." But this hoping come only as a gift of grace and is powerfully linked to the promises of God. In fact, they are inseparable. Because you believe God's promises you can hope in the future. Without this future, there is nothing to hope in. There is only fear and fear that leads us to a very dark place.”

If you'd like to read more of thier story, check out thier webpage
http://www.carrieshealth.com/updates.html

WHACK!

2008-01-04T19:45:00.001-06:00

So today would not place me in the "Mother of the Year" category by any stretch. It was in fact one of those days where every inch of my patience was stretched to the limits and snapped. The boys and I were out running errands. We stopped at the health food store to pick up a couple items. We went to the Bible book store where I purchased an "Inspirational" calendar to hang on my wall in the kitchen. Keeping track of the boys in a store is always a challenge. Full of "Don't touch that", "Stay with Mommy", "Put that down", " Don't put that in your mouth", " I don't know where the Bathroom is?!"....

After purchasing the devotional calendar, we left the bookstore. I fastened each wiggly child down his car seat. Clicked each button, tightened each strap. It's a process! I drive a Rodeo...so all three boys sit in a row, right next to each other.

The adventure starts here. As we pull out of the parking lot, JD and Caleb start fighting. I'm now in traffic. The fighting escalates. I can't pull over. My threats and demands to stop it... fall on deaf ears as they SCREAM at each other. So, I do what any loving christian mother would do. I roll up my newly purchased "Inspirational" calendar and whack both of my boys on their little noggins! They stopped screaming at each other and looked at me in disbelief. Only then did I realize that cars were honking at me. Evidently the light had turned green and I was still stationary. I sheepishly put down my wonderful spiritually uplifting calendar...and prayed that no one took down my license plates to call DHS.

Oh Lord....please help me!

1988 * 1998 * 2008

2008-01-03T22:46:00.000-06:00

New Years 1988

1) I was 16 (going on 17...turned 17 in June)
2) I lived in Minnesota
3) I was a Junior in High School
4) I was single
5) LONG BIG HAIR (Spiral Perm and BIG BANGS)
6) Had never heard of Starbucks
7) Size 10
8) Drove my parents cars
9)Spent New Years with the Youth Group
10) Had a Dog named Frisky

New Years 1998

1) I was 26
2) Lived in Denver
3) Director of "Teen House" girls home for at risk Teen Girls
4) Single... (met Monty in September 98...)
5) Short hair
6) Loved Starbucks
7) Size 10-12
8) Drove a Red Geo Prizm
9) Spent New Years with my friends at a condo in Breckenridge
10) Had two cats named "Gabby and Madison"

New Years 2008

1) I'm 36
2) Live in Broken Arrow, OK
3) Stay at home Mom
4) Married
5) Long Hair
6) Still Love Starbucks
7) Size 14ish
8)Drive a blue Isuzu Rodeo
9) Spent New Years with My Husband and kids
10) Have 2 cats Dexter and Mo
11) Have three boys

2008=Surrender

2008-01-03T22:28:00.000-06:00

It's 2008. A new year always brings me a strange mix of emotions. I'm excited...it's a new year...fresh with no mistakes in it. I'm hopeful...so many new experiences await. I'm a little intimidated....what struggles that I have now will I still be battling with next year? I'm determined...I want to live life to the fullest...to really enjoy my kids...my husband...my life.

Yet, experience tells me that I truly have no control. There is no guarantee that I will even be here at this time next year. I have no guarantee that my husband or children will be here this time next year. Jobs can change, life can take drastic turns. We cannot control or manipulate our circumstances to avoid pain. It is a part of our story.

As I look towards the year 2008, the word "surrender" seems to fit. I need to surrender to the Lord. Trust him. He gives and he takes away. I need to surrender both my dreams and my fears. In surrender there is rest. In surrender there is hope. In surrender there is strength. Father.....I surrender.....

A Veiw of Our December

2007-12-25T21:57:00.000-06:00

Merry Christmas everyone! We had a great day here in Oklahoma. Monty's folks were here to celebrate with us. My house is filled with Dinosaurs, Trains, Army Men and Lincoln Logs! Monty's Dad dressed up like Santa this morning. JD was fully aware that it was Grandpa, but he was excited about it to be sure. (I'm not a huge Santa fan...but it was really cool to see how much joy Grandpa got out of passing out presents to the kids...it was worth it just to see the look in his eyes)

We had a great Candlelight Christmas Eve Service at our church last night. Complete with Caleb yelling "FIRE" and blowing out our families candle. JD announced that the communion bread and juice were our "snacks"....you get the picture. Lots of memories to be sure.

It was a great day... Thanks Lord for being the reason we celebrate The reason we enjoy life. The true meaning ...of CHRISTmas.

Enjoy the slideshow....

Tree Trimming, No Power and Ice Storms

2007-12-14T15:55:00.001-06:00

A large ice storm hit Oklahoma over the weekend. It left hundreds of thousands of people with no power. There are still many without power. The Johnson clan survived 3 days with no power. We did survive. We have a wood burning stove and a ton of firewood. I'm so amazed at how great God is.

This summer, the power company sent crews out to our neighborhood to trim trees. The completely cut down one of our trees in the back yard. They even cut the wood up and stacked it for us. I was a little annoyed at the time, I couldn't believe that they cut down a WHOLE TREE....but, now it was that very tree that kept us warm. Another blessing is that if that tree had not been cut down, we would have an even bigger mess than we do now! God is good.

I also realize that there are times in my life where God is trimming things back, or completely removing things for reasons that make no sense to me at the time. However, in His great mercy and provision....He always has a reason and it usually involves keeping me safe and warm....

I DID IT !!!!

2007-12-08T23:22:00.000-06:00

Today I ran my first 5K! I've been working really hard over these past few months. I'm down almost 23 pounds and I was able to run the 5K in 40:02. Not to shabby for this 36 year old Mother of 3! Monty and the boys came to cheer me on. It was fun seeing them all waiting for me at the finish line. I'm so grateful for a supportive family!

December 2004 (Part 2)

2007-12-06T16:33:00.000-06:00

The Birth of Caleb was the second event that caused me to depend on the Lord. It wasnt' even a concious dependance at times. It was a total, complete relinquishing of any type of control. All I could do was crawl up on God's lap and let Him hold me through the storm....

These words are actual entries from my journal at that time....

"..... I stayed in Denver for a couple weeks after Gil's death. I flew back to our home in Joplin, MO on December 3, 2004. I scurried around Joplin trying to unpack from Denver and re-pack for our trip to Florida. Monty had a job interview at a church there and they were flying the whole family there for a week. On Saturday, I noticed that I was spotting a little bit. I wasn't really concerned, I just chalked it up to being 7 months pregnant etc. On Monday, I was still spotting a little bit and so I called the Doctor. They had me come up to labor and delivery. They did a complete exam and everything appeared normal. Caleb's heartbeat was good and strong. The Doctor attributed the spotting to having a sensitive cervix. I told them that we were flying to Florida the next day. They did not seem concerned, but I did request a copy of my pre-natal records to take with me.

We left Joplin that night and drove to Kansas City. I continued to have some spotting. I woke up early in the morning with a couple of contractions. I just chalked it up to good ole Braxton Hicks. Our flight left at 7:00 am. I kept having contractions. I thought maybe changing positions and drinking water would help. We landed in Atlanta for a layover. My contractions got stronger. We walked around. JD toddled everywhere. I laid down on the uncomfortable chairs in the concourse, I stretched against the wall, I walked...they kept coming. About 6-7 an hour, so about every 10 minutes. We boarded our next plane. The flight to West Palm Beach was only an hour. Monty held JD and eventually he moved with him to the empty seats right in front of me. I couldn't deal with him climbing on me. I kept getting up and going to the bathroom, more bleeding, more contractions. The contractions kept getting harder and faster. I distinctly remember holding onto the arm rests tightly and trying to relax my body. But, I was getting scared, which made it hard to relax. I caught Monty's eye and said.. "This is not good". As the plane began its descent, I told Monty we needed to let the steward know what was up. I hadn't told anyone before, because I didn't want to panic anyone. So, we called the Steward over and asked if we could have a wheelchair for us when we got off the plane. He asked why, we told him I was in labor. You could see the color drain from his face. He got on the intercom and asked that everyone stay seated so we could get off the plane first.

We got off the plane, met the pastor of the church that Monty was candidating at, at baggage claim. At this point, my contractions were about 2 minutes apart. They asked me if I wanted an ambulance, I said YES! At this point, we gave our baggage claim tickets to the pastor, and we handed him JD and the diaper bag. The ambulance arrived. They brought in a stretcher. I don't remember getting on the stretcher. I do remember the paramedic telling me he was going to take off my pants. The pressure got really intense. I was really scared. I kept telling him..."I'm only 31 weeks pregnant, he can't come now, it's to early..,." He assured me he had delivered 4 babies and could handle this. Then the urge to push hit. A contraction came and I couldn't help it. I pushed and "GUSH" the amniotic fluid shot out of me and plastered the entire back end of the ambulance. Including the windows and the helpless paramedic! I was embarrassed and kept apologizing.

We finally got to the hospital. They had Monty go fill out paperwork and they got me into a room. A nurse came in and checked me. She rushed out and came back in with a whole team of people. There was no conversation, I felt strangely like I was on a scene from ER. They told me that Caleb was coming out wrong and they had to do a C-Section. There was chaos everywhere.

They hooked me up to a fetal monitor. The nurse could not find a heartbeat. I was so scared. I kept waiting to hear that rhythmic swooshing...but there was nothing. Another nurse came and started prepping me for surgery. Monty walked in. Still no heartbeat. The nurse assured me it would be OK. They were sticking me with IV's, shaving me (not pleasant) and still scanning for a heartbeat. There was shouting and commotion. Keep in mind that I'm not a swearing person, but inside I'm yelling ..."FIND THE @!#$% heartbeat~! They wheeled me down the hall and into the operating room. They transferred me to a different bed. They asked me to roll into fetal position and hug my knees. They rubbed something cold on my back and then stuck the shot into my spine. My legs and everything went warm and then numb. Monty was wearing a surgical gown and was sitting by my head. They had a tarp up so I couldn't see. Within just a few seconds, they had Caleb out. There was a long pause as they worked on him. Then I heard him cry...never had anything sounded so wonderful. They showed him to me briefly then whisked him off to the NICU. They sewed me up and wheeled me into a small recovery room. Monty and I sat there stunned. We looked at each other and shook our heads as if to say..."What just happened~!?"

They soon wheeled me into the NICU to see Caleb. He was so tiny. He laid in an open crib, hooked up to monitors. His arm was bruised from the shoulder to the tips of his tiny fingers. The doctors were not overly positive about his condition. They weren't negative, just tentative. I was kept in the hospital for a week. Everyday I would go down the the NICU to see little Caleb. The first week they had him hooked up to a ventilator, which breathed for him. I was so scared. Just weeks before, I had seen Gil hooked up to a ventilator with some of the same monitors and tubes coming out of his head. I was almost scared to hope that my little guy would be OK....."

Check out this video of him from the day he was born...

As most of you know, Caleb is fine. He turns 3 tomorrow. He came into the world with a bang, and continues to leave his mark on the world. I know God has great plans for him. I'm so grateful for the 3 years of life we've had with him and Lord willing we will be celebrating many Birthdays to come! I love you little man~!

November 2004

2007-12-05T13:11:00.001-06:00

I'm not even sure how to begin this blog. I want to write about two events. Two events that took place during November and December 2004. These events changed me. These events were perhaps the most difficult times I've ever faced. It seems that the world stopped and how or when it started spinning again, I'm not sure. I do know that it was during these two events that I learned what dependence upon God really meant. I think I'm just going to recount these events in two seperate entries. I'm going to share some of my actual journal notes during that time....

November 2004,

"....Mary Zane called to let me know that her Dad had fallen on Saturday.
He was in the ICU in Denver. She was flying home from Waco on Sunday. Monty was candidating at a church in Nowata, OK that day. We went to the church...all through the service I got updates. Gil did not look good. We decided to head out to Denver on Monday night. Miraculously, God provided for our financial needs to make the trip possible. We left Monday night and drove halfway. We got into Denver on Tuesday afternoon. We dropped JD off at my parents house and went right to the hospital. I went back to the room with Chris and Mary Zane. Chris was sitting in a chair by his Dad's bed. Gil had tubes coming out of his head. Half his head was shaved and he had a trachea in so he could breathe. I walked over to Chris and he fell apart. I stood there and held him as he cried. Mary Zane came over and the three of us hugged and cried.

The next days and couple of weeks are a blur. Full of hospital visits. One of my best memories is from the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. Mary Zane and I had gone out for coffee (at Starbucks of course) and then visited her Dad. He had had surgery to try to relieve the pressure in his brain. They cut his head from ear to ear and stitched it up loosely, hoping that that would allow the brain to swell and relieve the pressure. I went over and spent the night at their house. The next morning Chris was there, and the three of us laid on Gils bed and we talked and laughed. Chris and I had lunch at Chipotle that day. After lunch, I went back to my folks house.

I was getting ready for the Thanksgiving Eve service at my parents church when Mary Zane called. She told me that her Dad's brain pressures had skyrocketed and basically "strangled" his brain. They made the decision to withdraw care. That's a decision no 18 and 19 year old should ever have to make. I sat JD down in my Moms lap, got in the car and sped to the hospital. I don't even remember the drive there. I got there and hugged MZ. They had moved Gil to a private room. The nurse came in and turned off the monitors, removed the ventilator tube from the trech and we waited. I had everyone gather around and we prayed.

All in all it was just weird. Standing around waiting for someone to die. There was a crowd of people in the waiting room. In a strange way, I felt honored to be able to be in the room with the kids. We didn't know how long it would take. His breathing was rhythmical. The kids went up and held his hands. I stood beside them or behind them. Even now, as I look back on it all, it doesn't seem real. I just cant seem to let myself believe that this is really happening. It just feels like a really clear memory of a horrible dream. The nurse came in and told us that because his heart was strong, this could take awhile. I remember holding his had and promising that I would take care of his children. I remember praying .." Lord, just make it quick". Not a prayer I wanted to pray, nor one I really wanted answered. What I really wanted was for him to "Snap Out of it". To just wake up. But, instead, we were here in this cold hospital and my prayer was more for the kids than for Gil.

Chris requested a few minutes alone with is Dad. I went out to the lobby to give everyone an update. When I got back in, they scurried us back into the room. Gil was about to enter Paradise. His color had gone from fairly normal, to a sickly green. His breathing was shallow and sporadic. Chris and Mary Zane went and held his hands. Both were crying. MZ kept telling him to "go home Daddy..." Then it was over. He just simply stopped breathing. We shuffled out of the room. I got details and paper work on the morgue and funeral home. We met people in the lobby. Lots of hugs, sniffs and tears. Then we all walked to our cars. Strange to leave and do something normal, like drive. I felt like everyone around should be sad too. It was cold and dark. We all felt numb.

I went back to my parents house. They were home from church. Mom was giving JD a bath. I went in and finished up. It was such a stark contrast. Here I was bathing a little 14 month old in warm soapy water. He smiled and babbled happily. I knelt down on the floor with tears running down my face. I got JD to bed, and packed up my stuff and headed over to Chris and Mary Zanes. I got ready for bed. I slept in Mary Zanes bed that night. We laid there and talked about her Dad. She made the comment that now I have 5 kids. Chris, her, JD, Caleb (who was not born yet) and our little one in heaven already. I told her that her Dad could be my kids nanny in heaven. We chuckled at that. I laid there, feeling Caleb move around inside me~ Thinking about death and it's finality and birth with it's new beginning. I wasn't waxing philosophical or anything, just noting the contrast...."

That was three years ago. It's still so vivid and fresh in my mind. Please pray for Chris and Mary Zane as they face another Holiday Season with out their parents. (They lost their Mom to breast cancer when they were 3 and 4). I love these kids and I loved their Dad. He was a great man, a wonderful Father and a dear friend. Thanks for taking time to walk through this memory with me....

Out of the mouth of Babes

2007-12-03T16:43:00.001-06:00

A friend of mine posted this in her blog. It's a radio transcript of a boy from a small town in Nebraska. Great words from a young boy. Great Faith in a small package. Great Wisdom from a tender heart....

Don't miss the Moon

2007-11-28T22:55:00.000-06:00

Last week, my friend Wendy was out for a jog. She lives in the Denver area, so I can imagine the crisp fall evening that Colorado is famous for. She has a specific route she jogs. It's mapped out so she knows how far she's gone etc. This particular evening, as she was heading down the same street that she always jogs, she felt a prompting to head down a different street. She started to shake it off...and do her normal routine. However, she said... "OK Lord, I'll go down this street.." As she turned the corner, she was greeted with a spectacular view of the moon, rising up over the horizon. She stopped dead in her tracks, taken with beauty before her.

She was struck with the fact that God prompted her to turn, just so he could show her the moon. It was a precious moment between Father and daughter.

Lord...help me listen. Help me not be caught up in my daily life to the point that I miss the moon.

Thanksgiving

2007-11-28T13:23:00.001-06:00

I love Thanksgiving. I love the smell of the turkey as it cooks. I love the scent of homemade pies. I love sitting around the table with family and friends and looking back over the past year.

This Thanksgiving we had the privilege of having my folks fly in from Denver. Our friend Danny from Joplin, MO also made the trek over here to spend the day. Having people that you love in your home makes for a great Thanksgiving.

My Dad embarked on what was to be a simple project of "re-caulking" the guest bathroom tub. It turned into having to replace drywall/re-tile/re-grout....etc. He was a trooper about it, and it looks MUCH better than it did. THANKS DAD!

JD helped with the Turkey and the Apple Pie. I had to chuckle at him when he saw the uncooked turkey for the first time. I showed him where the head "used to be", as I pulled the giblets etc from the neck and the cavity of the bird. He studied it for a while and then made the statement.... "We are sure not nice to Turkeys...."

During Dinner, each person around the table took a few moments to share what they were thankful for over the course of this past year. As we shared, there was that great mix of laughter and tears. It was one of those snapshot moments for my memory. I'm so thankful for times like that. They can't be scripted, can't be "made to happen". They just are...and it was good.

I do have much to be Thankful for. God has been so good to us. I pray that through this next year, no matter what it holds, we will hold fast to Him. He truly is the one to whom all praise is due!

Chi-Omega Letter

2007-11-19T23:31:00.000-06:00

I had the privilege of writing a letter for Mary Zanes Sorority. Each Senior girl's parents write a letter to their daughter, this letter is read aloud to the entire sorority as a way to honor each seniors accomplishments etc. I was very humbled and grateful to be able to write her letter. I wanted to share it with you all....

My Dear Mary Zane,

I know that if your Dad were able to write this letter, he would tell you how proud he is of you. He would tell you how much he loves you. He would tenderly tell you how much he believes in you and would watch with amazement as his little girl finishes up this chapter of her life. (We both know that of course he wouldn't be able to say it, because he’d be crying to hard.) That being said, I need you to know that I count it an amazing privilege to be able to write this letter in his stead.

Mary Zane, you are the daughter that God gave to me, not by birth, but by His Grace. You need to know that I love you more than words can ever describe. I am so proud of you. It was so much fun watching you grow up. You brought me so much joy. I’ve always loved spending time with you. I saw in you tenderness for the things of God at such an early age. Your faith has always been such an integral part of who you are.

Through the last few years, God has knit us together through circumstances neither of us could have ever imagined. You and I have walked through some pretty deep valleys together. We’ve also had our share of incredibly funny moments that no one else would ever understand. We share a love of Chipotle and Starbucks. You’ve accepted and loved Monty, even if he “took me away from you…” You’ve loved my boys and have been “sissy” to them. You have a love for Christ and a love for life that is evident to all. You have allowed Jesus to reign in your life, even through the darkest of moments.

My prayer for you as you graduate, is not that God would clear your path of all obstacles, for we know that they are a part of his sovereign plan. My prayer is not for wealth or even “success” as the world would render. My prayer instead, is that you keep seeking his heart. My prayer is that in God’s grace and mercy that he would continue to bestow upon you a resilient spirit that has so marked you to the core. Resiliency is not simply just “bouncing back”, resiliency is the ability to stand firm and be steadfast throughout the days God has carved out for you. My prayer is that you will keep your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of your faith. My prayer is that you will run with perseverance the race that our loving heavenly Father has marked out for you. My prayer is that you find true contentment in whatever circumstance God places you. My prayer is that you will know that you are loved, that you are precious and you will forever be my one and only daughter.

I love you,
Connie

Jud the Stud

2007-11-18T15:43:00.001-06:00

Over the past few months, I've been following the story of a 2 1/2 year old little boy named Judson. In July 2007, thier son Judson was diagnosed with Krabbe disease: a rare, genetic, incurable, terminal, leukodystrophy. He began showing symptoms in May 2007 and in just 5 months he lost all use of his arms and legs, went fully blind, totally mute, lost the ability to swallow, and a week ago Wednesday, he ultimately died from an inability to breathe.

I do not know this family. But, through thier blog(s), I have come to love this family. I have been grieving along with them. Their faith in God, thier love for thier child and thier ability to be real and transparent through this horrible ordeal has humbled me and brought me to my knees time and time again.

I often look at my healthy boys and am brought to tears. I can't imagine what it would be like to walk into my boys room and know I would never get to hold him again. Even as I write these words, the emotions I feel are so raw the tears so fresh. I just ache for them.

I'm attaching some links for you, if you'd like to read more about this precious little one. The blogs are amazing. I would encourage you to read them. Please pray for his parents as they begin thier lives with little Judson held in the arms of Jesus....

http://blog.myspace.com/levasheff

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/judson

Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pw-6UD7qRos

Slideshow: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIU-DDhiBl0

Raul Rodrigez is my hero

2007-11-18T15:26:00.000-06:00

The first weekend in November, I went to Baylor University to visit Mary Zane. It was a great trip. I packed up the three kids and we drove the 6+ hour drive (more like 8+ with kids) to Waco, TX. It was homecoming weekend and we got to take part in a lot of the festivities. We went to the parade, the football game and we got to go to church at MZ's church. (this was a special treat because David Crowder is their worship pastor...nice! )

Saturday afternoon, we had loaded up the kids and were heading to the football game. I had placed my wallet on the roof of our vehicle while I buckled in the three kids. About halfway to the game, I realized that we had driven off with my wallet on top of my car. Not good. The wallet had my cash, my debit/credit cards....everything. I now had no way to pay for our hotel, for food, for gas....not good. We retraced our path...no luck. I called Monty and had him start calling card companies etc. In the mean time, MZ and I decided to head to the game. Baylor got stomped by Texas Tech, but it was fun anyway.

On the way back from the game, I decided on a whim to call the police. Just to see if a good Samaritan had turned in my wallet. As a matter of fact, a man named Raul Rodriguez turned in my wallet with all the cards in tact. The cash was gone...so I guess Raul got a $15 finders fee. Either way, he's still my hero.

Warning: Several Blogs to follow

2007-11-18T15:21:00.000-06:00

Just thought I'd let you know I have to many things floating in my head to possibly fit into one blog. So....enjoy the next few blogs...

Update on Sarah

2007-11-10T10:39:00.000-06:00

Hello Everyone,
Thank you for praying. Here is an update on Sarah that I have copied from her website. Just thought I would give you an update.... (here is the link to her website http://www.loveyourguts.com/ )

"Sarah Beth has come through her first day post-surgery pretty well! She is still in ICU, waiting for a bed to open up in neurology's stepdown unit. She is still very sleepy. She's been talking, though, instead of using sign language like she was at first, and she has been able to eat a little bit. She still hasn't opened her eyes. Her mom's not sure if that's from a little swelling or if her eyelids are still just too heavy for her to manage it just yet. She is able to move her arms and legs. These may all seem like little things, but they are HUGE. And all of them give evidence of the power of God and of His care for Sarah Beth. Each bite she takes, each word spoken, each movement of her feet and hands - each is an amazing victory! I know you are continuing in prayer for Sarah Beth as she recovers. Please pray for strength, peace, and endurance for her as she waits for pathology reports and throughout her recovery and rehab. Obviously she has faced many challenges up to this point. She has a long road ahead of her which will continue to bring challenges and difficult circumstances. Also pray for wisdom and discernment for her so that when treatment options are presented she will be able to choose well. God has proved and will never stop proving His faithfulness. Sarah Beth's life is a prime example. And He is just as faithful to everyone who puts their trust in Him. He is so deserving of our praise!"

Please Pray for Sarah Today

2007-11-08T08:49:00.000-06:00

Today is surgery day for Sarah Beth. (She is having surgery on her brain) She's scheduled for 2pm. We are certain of God's presence with her and we trust Him completely with her life. He knows how this will all play out. Nothing can touch her that He will not be with her through.

Please pray for her peace, strength, and safe-keeping.

Please pray for her surgeon and all of the O.R. staff.

Please pray for her parents, mark and kathleen; her brothers, jeremy and jason; and for the rest of us who are her family.

Please pray for the many friends of hers as well.

But, most of all, please please please pray for this precious girl.

What IF and IF only

2007-11-01T15:56:00.000-05:00

I read this today...thought I'd share it with you...

"Did you know there are spiritual diseases? Two of the deadliest are the "if" diseases, What if and If Only. These illnesses are fraternal twins, alike but not alike. Both lace the eyes of faith. What if looks to the future and worries about what God might allow. If Only looks to the past and grumbles about what God has given. The first leads to anxiety, the second to anger."

I've been dealing with both of these a bit over the past couple of days. As Monty came home and returned to his job at Jareds...the end of our "active duty" pay came to an end as well. This takes about $600 off of our monthly income. We had planned to save a lot of what he was making during this time...however, life got in the way. New Brakes on a car, a stolen camera, a plumbing upset that resulted in both a carpet cleaning bill and a plumbing bill. A broken vacuum, a flat tire. Uniforms for Monty. New brake pads on another vehicle. Just life ..ya know? The "If Only" side of me says.... if only we had saved more....blah blah. The What if side of me says...what if we have an emergency and we don't have the money? In one instant I'm kicking myself, the other side of me is worrying.

I'm learning that worry is really a lack of faith. George Muller said "The beginning of anxiety is the end of faith. The beginning of true faith is the end of anxiety." I have dear friends who have chemical problems etc that cause anxiety, panic attacks etc. I however, do not have these chemical problems...and I worry and fret all on my own. I can feel myself doing it. It divides my heart, my attention...it can keep me from doing what I need to do...and drives me to do what I don't want to do. When I worry, I'm short with my husband, my kids...and I'm harder on myself.

So...all this to say. Yes...our finances are going to be back to being "tight". We are good at living on little. We actually make it a game between us at times. I know we can do it. I just honestly enjoyed the little "reprieve" from having to worry as much. (There it is again...I don't HAVE to worry. I choose it.....LEARN SELF...LEARN) My confidence needs to be in God as a provider...not the size of a paycheck. Monty works very hard to provide for our family. He starts school again soon too. How he handles working full time, being in school full time, being in the National Guard and being a great husband and Father is beyond me. God has given me so much in the gift of my husband. He is a great "balancer" for me. Monty has such a steady faith. He is confident and is able to handle the "ups and downs" so much better than I can.

Lord...please help me to choose faith...

Halloween Pictures

2007-11-01T14:44:00.000-05:00

Tricky Treats

2007-10-30T14:20:00.000-05:00

No in depth discussion today....just a funny moment. I picked JD and Caleb up from Mothers Day Out today. JD was all excited because he got "tricky treats" today. Made me smile. Fun Times...

So Happy Together....

2007-10-28T17:02:00.000-05:00

Monty is Home....We had a great day at the Airshow yesterday. The Blue Angels are amazing. Life is good. More to come later...

Jesus gave me lunch today

2007-10-25T14:21:00.000-05:00

I got free lunch at Chipotle today. Their grand opening is tomorrow. I drove past today, in the vain hopes that it would somehow be open to the public. To my surprise, I saw multiple people in the restaurant eating lunch. I thought to myself... "Self, if they are eating there, you can too" So I pulled my car in, parked and marched through the door. Today, was a training day. They were serving food for FREE. Yes, you read that right. FREE. I got my favorite menu item (Soft tacos fixed like a fajita burrito...the Chipotle going readers know what that entails) I sat down and enjoyed every free bite. Yes...Jesus loves me!

Can't Wait

2007-10-21T23:04:00.000-05:00

This week is going to be great! The boys go back to school on Tuesday and Thursday. On Thursday I'm getting my hair cut, colored and my eyebrows waxed. On Friday, weather permitting...we are going to the zoo. Saturday, we are hopefully going to the airshow in Muskogee.

However, the two things I'm most excited about....are MONTY GETS HOME on Saturday evening...and on Friday...my favorite restaurant in the WHOLE WORLD opens up here in Tulsa. On Friday I'm driving over to Chipotle....and I'm going to be in Heaven. Anyone in Tulsa care to join me ?

Well...we made it

2007-10-21T13:28:00.001-05:00

Just an update.... I put the olive oil/ garlic ear drops in JD's ears, gave him the heating pad and let him sleep with me...and he woke up feeling fine. So, we just went to Sunday School today. All the kids slept unit 8:30,.....Thank you Jesus. I kept JD with me in my class today, just in case he had some kind of a bug. So, we are all going to rest this afternoon.....

How come they all wake up at once!

2007-10-21T01:01:00.000-05:00

So...it looks like the Johnson clan will not be attending church tomorrow. This is due to the fact that I am now up with child #3. Caleb was up with teething issues from about 10-12. JD was up with an earache from about 12:15-1:00am. Now Nathan is up...I don't think anything is wrong with him, other than his brothers woke him up and he now thinks it's time to play. I'm letting him take a few laps around the living room and I'll be sending him back to bed. JD is sleeping in my bed, he has the heating pad on his ear and has tears running down his face in his sleep. Caleb has two molars that are coming in...that joined with the new found skill of opening doors...not a good combo. He wakes up and is hurting, so he gets out of bed and walks around the house. This will be night number three of this phenomenon. He can climb baby gates and can outsmart the "child proof" door handle things from Babies R Us. So, I don't sleep well, knowing he could roam the house at any given moment. When Monty gets home, maybe we'll install a doorknob that can lock from the outside or something. I'm sure he'll have plenty to tell Oprah someday if we do that....

Anyway...I'm tired and I just want my boys to sleep.......!

And Miles to Go Before I Sleep....

2007-10-16T15:38:00.000-05:00

For those of you who don't know...since Monty's been gone, I've been putting myself through my own "boot camp". After having 3 kids in 3 years....several moves and honestly, just not taking care of myself...I decided to make some changes while Monty was gone. Since he left, I've lost 18 pounds. I've been exercising 5 times a week too. When I started, I was walking a 20 minute mile on our treadmill. I just got off the treadmill...and I finished a mile in 12 minutes! I'm very gross and sweaty right now, and my legs feel like rubber...but I am so excited about shaving 8 minutes off my mile in 5 weeks! I'm hoping to loose 2 more pounds before Monty gets home...then I will have lost 20 pounds while he was gone! Keep praying for me....it's not easy for me! But, I'm so excited!

Cry, Rant, Pray....Repeat

2007-10-07T22:41:00.001-05:00

I sit here tonight with a sort of "war" going on inside of me. It's the battle of keeping things in perspective. Never easy...and almost impossible for me at times. I've been upset all afternoon because my camera was stolen. I love my camera. And, honestly since Monty's gone, it's been a great way to connect, to keep him updated on life here.... It was stolen last night, right out of my diaper bag. Ugh.. I've been on the verge of tears...oh who am I kidding...I've been crying off and on all afternoon. I hope whoever took the camera enjoys the video of Nathans first steps! ( I do have it saved on my computer....THANKFULLY)

Just about an hour ago, I got a call from my Mom. My cousin Sarah, was just admitted to the hospital. She's been battling breast cancer for almost 3 years now. I got all the details about her hospitalization and as I hung up the phone, I felt like crying again. Who am I kidding...I cried again. I'd been fussing all afternoon over a camera. Sarah has been in pain for such a long time...and suddenly the camera thing did not seem like such a big deal. So, I cried over that for a bit.

Then I cried because I was crying alone...Monty's not here and I can't cry on his shoulder. Then I felt selfish again...and cried some more. I think I'm a mess right now.

So I sit here with puffy eyes really trying to maintain a healthy perspective....

1) Camera's are replaceable..children are not. I was watching my children, not the diaper bag. I would rather turn away for a second and lose a camera, as opposed to turning away for a second and losing a child.

2) Monty is going to come home. He is not gone forever... I can call him... We're good there.

3) Sarah needs me to pray, to lift her up to our heavenly Father who knows the plans he has for her. He loves her with an everlasting love and she is surrounded by the prayers of thousands.

So, *sniff*... I think I need to get a drink of water...pray some...and head to bed.

Hospital Time

2007-09-30T22:21:00.000-05:00

Yes.....Nathan had a nice stay in the hospital last night. He has pneumonia. Lots of fun. I'm really sleepy...will write more later. But, I thought I'd get pictures up!

Mmmmm Coffee

2007-09-28T10:49:00.001-05:00

Can I just say I love coffee. I love the smell, I love the taste...I love the way I can feel myself physically relax as I take that first hot sip. Mmmm... Coffee. I'm so glad God prompted some one somewhere to say..."Hmm...I bet if I roasted these beans and ground them up...there would be a great drink...' I don't know who it was...but I am forever in your debt! This morning...as silly as it sounds...I'm so grateful for coffee....

My Little Evangelist

2007-09-24T15:00:00.000-05:00

Today, I had the pleasure of taking my three boys to two different doctors offices. This is not normally something I enjoy. However, today, JD made the whole trip worth it. It was at our second office visit. He was in the little partitioned off area, playing with toys. There were three other boys in there playing. They were all older than he was. JD said... "Hey guys...sit down for a minute. I have to tell you something. " I peeked in there to see what he had to say. Remarkably, the other boys sat down. JD took a deep breath and said... "Guys, I want to tell you about Jesus. Jesus came down from heaven (pronounced "He-ben) to the earth (Erf). He died on the cross for our sins. He raised from the dead and went back to He-ben. So, you have to believe in Jesus so you can go to he-ben. " Then he said "That's All"... and they continued to play.

I was dumbfounded and humbled. What pure faith...out of the mouth of babes.

Videos for Dad

2007-09-23T22:40:00.000-05:00

I'm including this link on my blog...cause I know Monty will be checking. We miss him. So, we're going to try to put up a couple new videos a week so that He can take a look at what's going on here. If you want to take a peek too...go ahead....Just know there is much silliness.
http://www.youtube.com/Conster71

Brooke Fraser - Shadowfeet

2007-09-19T08:59:00.001-05:00

This video really hit me this morning. Not sure why, but I sat in front of my computer with tears rolling down my cheeks. Maybe it's just the hope that when everything's over...those of us who know Jesus...will be found in him. It's kinda of a strange video..but maybe it's the looks in thier eyes...like we all have...a longing to be "home"...

8 Funny Things

2007-09-18T20:59:00.000-05:00

So, I've been informed that my blog has made the occasional person shed tears. So....I am going to share 10 funny moments from today....

1) Nathan and I were at the deli counter picking up lunch meat today. I was wearing a v-neck shirt...Nathan pulled it down and the Deli counter guy saw more than chicken breasts today....

2) JD told me that he listened to his teacher at MDO today, and was only a "little bit naughty".

3) Caleb stole all of JD's chicken nuggets while he thought nobody was watching.

4) I got into my shower this morning and stepped on a plastic dinosaur... (thanks JD)

5) JD hurt his foot at MDO today. It truly is sore. However, it gets unbearably sore when I ask him to do something

6) Caleb took his pants off several times at MDO.

7) JD and Caleb had a self proclaimed "tickle-hug" match.

8) Nathan crawled under a couch and got stuck.

So....that's about it. Maybe not "huge" laughs. But, hopefully I got a few smiles :)

Being Apart, Playlands and Sweeping the Patio

2007-09-17T20:46:00.000-05:00

I feel like there are a million things I should be doing, yet here I sit at the computer. The house is quiet. The boys are in bed. In fact, it's almost to quiet...makes me miss Monty. I know that these weeks will go fast. We've been apart before. In fact, we were long distance the whole year before we got married. I'm not afraid of being alone. I'm not even really "sad"... I just miss having him here. I missed him a lot a few minutes ago when I dragged the trash out to the curb...HIS job! I miss him when we tuck the boys into bed. I miss him when I crawl into bed...and he's not there. He's just fun to have around. Even if we're not talking...it's just having his physical presence that's nice.

The boys and I had a great day. We went to Sams Club and loaded up on diapers, ego's and other various items. I splurged and bought the Tyson "dinosaur" chicken nuggets. JD at 5 of them at lunch. The boys took good naps. We had stir fry for dinner and for a special treat, I took them to the McDonald's play land for an ice cream cone and a chance to run around. The boys went to bed easily...and I am so grateful for that.

Caleb was really "snugly" tonight. For those of you who know him, you know that is a rare treat for Mommy. We sat in the quiet of his room and I rocked him. I sang song after song and he just held on to me. I know these days will end all to soon, so I savored every second of it.

JD was full of questions tonight. He's been very concerned about making everyone "proud". He swept off the patio tonight and he showed me...his words were ..." Mommy, does that make you proud of me? Does it make God proud of me?" I assured him that we were both proud of him. Tonight as we were praying together...I told him... "JD...did you know that Mommy is proud of you for just being you? God made only ONE JD in the whole world. He thinks you are very special just because He made you. We are both so proud of you..." He seemed to revel in that as I kissed his little face.

I think we all need that reminder... God's acceptance of us is not based on our performance. He loves us because He chooses to. So many times I've tried to "sweep the patio", in hopes of making God proud. When in reality...he is already proud of me because I'm His. I need to revel in that tonight.....

Monty's Blog

2007-09-15T23:15:00.000-05:00

Monty has a new blog site. He's planning on writing in it during his time at Basic Training. Please keep him in your prayers. He'll be in South Carolina until November.

http://jbuckwheat.blogspot.com/

My life .....

2007-09-15T22:45:00.000-05:00

Whew...the last couple weeks have flown by. JD and Caleb started pre-school and Awana. I started MOPS and Bible study. Caleb got tubes in his ears and stitches above his left eye. Nathan turned one. JD is about to turn 4. The boys and I "ran" the Race for the Cure....and this morning...Monty left for basic training.

Caleb in the Hospital...getting tubes

Nathans First Birthday

JD's 4th Birthday Celebration

Race for the Cure

Grass Angels

2007-08-30T21:11:00.000-05:00

Funny story.....

Today JD and Caleb had gone outside. They had been out there for awhile, they both came in sweaty and smiling. JD's hair was matted and had grass in it.... When I asked him what they had been doing... he smiled and said... " We were making grass angels ...." What a kid!

Lifehouse's Everything Skit

2007-08-25T10:39:00.001-05:00

Life is harsh sometimes. I've seen that through the eyes of my friend who has cancer, friends who are out of work, friends who are hurting, marriages of those I care about falling apart...I've seen it in my own life....
But I was reminded in a powerful way that GOD HAS ALREADY WON the battle for us. Dance with HIM today....

And then be reminded of this:And how can I stand here with you, and not be moved by YOU? But you tell me, "How could it be, any better than this?"

"...'Cause YOU're all I want, YOU're all I need, YOU're EVERYTHING!"